Farm Fresh Fridays – The clerk checked out my daughter and I almost smacked him edition!

Okay so this is not the cake post folks. That is coming, I promise. It has to be on it’s on post as it was for the daring baker challenge. So I will get to that later. For now I have to share some farm fresh friday goodies with you lovely people.So first to clarify this is not a farmer’s market I go to. Although apparently we do have one down town I hear. I will have to check it out but it’s only open saturday mornings and those of you who know me know my IBS rages in the morning. So the thought of a trip to down town Windsor in the wee early morning does not appeal to me. We also have tons of fruit stands so I may do a post on that soon. Take my camera along and hit the road with you in tow. That could be fun. Anyone for a road trip??? Who is calling “shotgun”?Okay where was I? Have you ever met someone so easily distracted? It’s like a sickness or something. I have the attention span of ….oh…something shiny out the window. What, oh, so ya like I was saying, the attention span of a small child. Or a real housewife let loose in Tiffany’s or something. It’s so silly. And I just did it again. Back to the post people, stop distracting me. Okay so the place I go for Farm Fresh Fridays (does any one else hear booming music and a narrator every time I say that or it that just me?) is not, I repeat, not a farmer’s market. It’s more of a year round upscale market that has top quality fruit and veggies. They carry sauces and oils, all things cooking related, as well as deli, meat, cheese and bakery departments. They tend to carry things I cannot find locally. I go in once a week, on a strict (rofl) budget. Love this place so much. Used to shop there all the time when I worked out nearby.

So today’s adventure had a couple of interesting incidents. I’ll give you my incident first. So I got up late today, don’t judge me, it’s summer and the kids are out of school. I set the alarm but evil me must have turned it off and forced productive me to sleep longer. Not my fault, I take no responsibility. So we were running really late to get out the door. So if you know me you know I have really long blond hair. If you don’t know me, well now you at least know I have long blond hair and a tendency to ramble on incessantly. Anyhoo, as my sister says, I knew I did not have time to dry it or style it and still get everything done. It’s long and thick so I had to improvise today. So I did it in pigtails and straightened the bangs, took less than 5 minutes as opposed to 20 or 30. I do this kind of thing often as I hate abusing the hair every single day. I did not think anything of it. So I slap on a bright blue sharkbite tunic and white capris, wipe on some makeup and out the door in under 15 minutes. Colour me impressed. Until I get to Remark Farms and some old lady is staring at me. I mean just staring. I catch her eye and she keeps staring. So I give her this puzzled wtf look, you know the one. She keeps staring at me and smiles. I walk by and hear her say quietly, it’s cute and she points to my hair. Okay so call me cynical but if you think some one’s hair is cute is it okay to stare at them and make them uncomfortable? Honestly I thought maybe I hadn’t brushed my teeth or only put makeup on one eye or something. I mean just cuz I’ve done that once does not mean I do it all the time. Anyhow I smiled back and nodded and I swear I did not mutter “stare much you old bat” under my breath. Really I did not do that. I would never. And I am pretty sure the cameras were pointed the other way so no one can prove a thing. You’d think between this and last week’s old lady incident that I don’t like old ladies, or I am an ageist but I’m not. I’m an old bat myself, I’m 42 for pete’s sake. But as I enter old ladyism (it’s a word I swear!) I know enough that you shouldn’t stare at the other old lady with pigtails and if you do at least have the decency to pretend you weren’t. Come on now people, there’s a code of ethics regarding blatant staring. Look away, avert your eyes, pretend you were looking at something else, or just look ashamed. That’s how dignified people handle embarrassment in my book. But hey, what do I know, I’m an old lady who wear pigtails to the store.

So we take our goodies to the check out and the bag dude is staring at my daughter, Kiana. I mean just staring and is oblivious to her pigtailed mama standing there reaching into her purse for a baseball bat. I mean how rude to just stare while her mom is right there. If you are the kind of dude who is going to stare at my daughter while I am there then I am pretty sure you are not the kind of dude I want her to date. I mean I have the perfect guy all picked out already. He is polite, paranoid of human contact, has an aversion to alcohol and a curfew of 7 pm and would never stare at her in public. I know, I know, but he’s out there. Somewhere. Just waiting for the right girl so he can respect her parents. Okay so my standards are too high. I can let go of the not staring in public thing but the rest stands. I swear being the mom of a hottie who does not know or care that she’s a hottie is exhausting. I feel like a superhero warding off evil enemies at every turn. She is the kind of gal who goes out with no makeup, hair tied up on top of her head, in cutoffs and a tee and still gets more attention than the made up chick in heels. It cracks me up. And she is so unaware of it. Last week there were 2 of them checking her out and one was being fairly bold in his obvious conversation about how he broke up with his girlfriend and wants to meet a nice girl while smiling at her mama and being super polite. I try so hard to keep a straight face. I can barely contain myself until we make it through the doors and I end up laughing uncontrollably. And Kiana, still clueless what was going on. The dude last week even followed us outside “to take out cart” and she still didn’t catch on. Me being me I did not give the poor dude a window to be shot down. I knew if he asked she would say no. So I spared him the heartbreak. Aren’t I a wonderful person? Always thinking of others.

Okay so now that I’ve bored you to tears with my ramblings. Here is the friday haul. Enjoy! Be jealous, it’s okay. I can take it. I have super powers remember!

Photos missing due to a G+ incident. Will be restored soon.

I have so many new things to make this weekend you are going to pass out from all the excitement. Going to I be a fun weekend. I still cannot find sjarchi sauce. I need it to make Ima Burgers from The Shiksa’s blog. I cannot find it anywhere. Even the market didn’t have it. So weird. I hate living in boonieland. Makes being a foodie difficult.

Okay so I am off to see the horsey.

Toodles and smoochies! xx

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  1. Ann says

    Hi there! I posted on sneak peek…what a great story, Kim! I know the "wtf" look – and I understand your distraction for shiny things….. Have a great weekend!

  2. Carol says

    Great post, Kim! As always, I find myself laughing and smiling at your writing. I loved the part about super hero powers. And the "always thinking of others." You're too funny. I love all your fresh food too. There's just nothing better than fresh. :)

  3. Dee at Deelicious Sweets says

    I didn't notice your ramblings, do you ramble. I had no idea you rambled. I don't have that issue. I would never ramble on and on about something :)

    Do you ever just stare at said boy giving your daughter the once over and say "Dude!"? Cuz, I could totally see you doing that!

  4. Kim Bee says

    Liz- Thanks!

    Ann- Thank you. The wtf look is a woman thing for sure. Hope you had an awesome weekend.

    Dzoli- You are welcome. xx

    Carol- Thanks so much. I enjoy writing so it's nice to know people enjoy reading. I write so off the cuff I always worry people won't get the sarcasm and silliness intended. I should edit but I just don't have that ability.

    Dee- Rofl, silly rambler you! I have done that actually. And once at the mall an old guy was staring at her so I walked right up to him, looked him and the eye and "dude, seriously? She's 16!" Never seen someone go so red. I may have muttered jackass too but I can't be sure.

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