Hi folks. So you see the title and you are shocked right?! You are wondering to yourself what Paula Deen did to me. How did she wrong me? How and why did she steer me wrong.? And why, oh why would dear Paula do that to the Lunatic. Your beloved Lunatic wronged by the charming southern powerhouse Paula Deen. How could this happen? Well let me just tell you she may cook like an angel, she may have a southern accent I would kill to have, she may have money and my dream kitchen…but the girl just does not know how to time the sugar on the top of muffins. I hear your collective gasp. Oh my goodness did Kim just slam Paula’s Deen? Well yup I did, not in a big bad omg I am going to be sued for slander kind of way. Just in a tiny well what the heck was she thinking when she wrote down those instructions kind of way.
So let me explain this. I wanted to try out a different muffin recipe. I use my lovely sister, Deb’s recipe most of the time. I thought I would try something different so I looked up one of my faves, Miss Paula Deen. She had a lovely looking blueberry recipe and I thought to my self, “self, these are the muffins for you”. They just spoke to me. Not in a creepy lord of the rings ring kind of way. But in a nice, I think they look scrumptious and I must make them kind of way. So anyways, I decide to do two different muffins. One blueberry and one “surprise for later” variety. I figured I would make a small change from one to the other. I wanted to see if the type of milk used mattered. But this has nothing to do with how Paula ruined my muffins. So back to explaining just how this woman destroyed my muffins. So I make them all up and I see she does her sugar topping differently than me and my lovely sister, Deb. We put ours on top right away and mix up our own secret batch. So I come to learn Miss Paula does hers a wee bit different. She cooks her muffins for a bit then pulls them out and adds the sugar and sticks them back in. Well I’ll be darned if this method is just plain wrong and silly. Unless you do them that way, then that’s fine, did I tell you how much I love you and how pretty you look today? Moving on. If you cook them as recommended then take them out you have 2 small problems you discover. One is they have already risen so the sugar will just roll right off them. They’re like little hills. So the sugar slides down the hill. This reminded me of when we were kids and went to the park at the end of our street and took our sleds down the hill. So much fun sliding down the hill. Well let me tell you folks it’s not fun watching your prized sugar go rolling down the hill. The sugar your sister has to send you as you cannot get it where you live. The sugar you know cost your sister an arm and a leg. The sugar you treat like gold dust, never wasting an ounce of it. So there is lies problem numero uno, we’ll refer to as “sledding sugar”. Now problem number 2 is the muffins are already half cooked so guess what? What you ask? That means the tops are not sticky like batter anymore. That means they are smooth and pretty but not sticky in any way, shape or form. So you don’t need to be a rocket scientist to figure out the sugar is not going to stick to a smooth surface. You can try to push the tops in a bit to make the sugar stay, you will however ruin the beautiful tops of your muffins doing this. Or you can leave the nice smoothness of it and as soon as you pick the muffin up all the sugar just falls on the floor, the counter, the oven, the cat, the….well this could go on all day. So we will refer to problem deux being “not sticky=no sticky”.
So now that I have dragged you through an overly long explanation and dragged Paula lightly but not mean spiritedly (that’s actually a word, I did not get auto corrected,cool!) through the mud. I will tell you how to fix this problem. Are you ready for it? You sure? This is really monumental advice coming at ya. When it comes to putting sugary goodness on top of your muffins “DO NOT LISTEN TO PAULA”. Okay so I may have just lost some readers and incited a lawsuit from Paula’s reps. I apologize sincerely, but I must get the truth out there. People need to know this stuff. If I can offer some sugary topping goodness advice it’s this, “put it on immediately.” Simple, clear, to the point. Just the way a judge, er, my readers like it. I say put your sugar coating on while the batter is wet and not cooked. If you are worried about the top over browning due to the sugar then pop a piece of parchment over top for the last little bit during your cooking time. But dear lord people, do not put it on half way through the cooking process. I like my sugar on my muffin, not on my cats back or the floor. So there you have it. Advice from the lunatic. I will keep you up to date on the upcoming trial when Paula’s people hear about this. If you see the court proceedings on tvmah bellah. Paula will be the one eating the muffin with the sugar falling all over the reporter’s and paparazzi’s shoes. Okay then, on to the recipe. And contacting a good lawyer.
So this is what I made:
|TASTY DESPITE THE SUGAR ISSUES!|
Source- Paula Deen
2 cups all purpose flour
2 tablespoons baking powder
1/2 cup sugar
1 stick (1/2 cup butter), melted
1 egg, beaten
3/4 cup milk (it calls for whole, I used 2% as an experiment)
2 cups blueberries (it calls for 1 1/2 but I wanted more blueberry goodness)
1/2 cup mixed sugar for tops, I mixed about 1/4 cup brown sugar and 1/4 cup demerara sugar which looks like little glass crystals if you’ve never seen it (the recipe calls for white or brown)
Preheat oven to 350 degrees
Grease or line muffin tins with cupcake liners.
Combine flour, sugar and baking powder in a bowl.
In another bowl combine butter, milk and egg and mix.
Pour the wet ingredients slowly into the dry ingredients. Fold in gently. Some lumps are okay, don’t over mix.
Spoon into muffin tins about 2/3 full.
Sprinkle sugar mixture on top. (Paula says to wait, I say do it now)
Place in oven and cook for 20- 25 minutes. (Paula says to cook for 10, remove, add sugar, return to oven for 10 to 15 minutes more)
Remove and cool for about 10 minutes before pulling them out of the tins.
Serve with a smile.
So are you all still there? I didn’t send you running off for fear of being called in as witnesses did I? I didn’t bore you to tears did I?
I had some fun with my camera. I have to say the food porn sites still hate me. But I am having a ball and learning along the way. So it’s okay that they have some massive grudge against me, I mean it couldn’t possibly be that my pics suck could it? Lol! So if practice makes perfect I should be a pro by Christmas time. Loving every minute of it. Although I still desperately want a new camera. I also need classes on photography and photo editing.
Alrighty roo my lovelies, I must go and start my next post on my secret muffins. So another one is coming. I promise not to rant about Paula Deen. You all know I love that woman. I just need to have a talk with her about this sugar thing and we’ll be bffs again in no time.
Toodles and smoochies. xx
ps if you want to buy that sparkly sugar look for this bag, this stuff rocks! And no I do not work for them, I just love their product! Run, now, seriously, go get some of this stuff. It will change your life.