So…no recipe today.
Now don’t cry.
It’ll be okay.
I know I just gave you a serious post the other day with Remembering…Missing…Mom, but I have to do one more just to fill you all in some life stuff. I know right, boring. But I feel compelled to share.
First to the readers, I hope you’ve stuck it out the last couple of months through the bad photos and rushed posts. Also the move was a bit rocky there for a day or so. I honestly need to explain and you’ll know why things aren’t up to the usual standards here at the asylum.
Second to my fellow bloggers this is meant to explain my absence from your blogs the last couple of months. I am usually a serial commenter and I used to reply very quickly to your comments. I hope this sheds some light on things and you all will forgive me for being a bad blogging buddy.
Also I don’t want to get too in-depth as it’s personal for another member of the family. So if it seems vague I apologize. I’ll share what I can.
So if you remember back in January me and mini-me got the flu. Well, mini-me stayed sick after having it. We visited the doc which lead to tests, and more tests. She had swollen lymphs that did not respond to medication. So after bloodwork, more bloodwork an ultrasound and some doc visits we are happy to report she is okay. The lumpy as I like to call it is benign. So good news after a stressful couple of months of wondering what was happening. There was talk of biopsies and let me tell you that is not a word any kid or parent wants to hear. I’ll admit I was terrified but kept up a good front for her. I think she was pretty freaked out by it all. Who wouldn’t be? We need to go back in to see what`s next but I think she’s in the clear now and the worry washes away a bit. I did not want to tell people until we knew she was okay. No point in worrying the masses with speculation. So now that she is fine I felt I wanted to tell you all and share it with you. It’s been a rough couple of months and no matter who tells you not to worry you really cannot help yourself. It weighed on my mind every second of every day. Mini-me grew up sick, nothing terminal but pretty serious. We spent about 13 years going back and forth to London, about an hour and a half from home at least a couple of times a year. There was no one here specialized enough to deal with her. So the thought of her being sick, or being sick again was a bit too much to think about. I went through the day-to-day motions as we do. But lacked the usual giggly, bubbly thing I usually project.
So that is part of the story. The other is money trouble but I won’t bore you with that. Let’s just say things were touch and go for a while but things are looking up. Money stress wears you down. Wears you out.
I’ve also been told I have a heel spur in one foot. So exercise was out of the question. Pain can be a mother. Who knew? I have trouble standing when I get up in the morning and also if I sit too long. I am sure it will pass, it already feels tons better and I’ll admit to a ton of hobbling around and icing it a gazillion times a day. I am hoping to be able to start walking again. I miss the workouts. Need to get my butt in shape. But it’s been on the back burner dealing with the inability to walk.
Okay so add these three things up and what do you get? High blood pressure. Yup, and so it returns. I’d had mine completely under control for some time. Well, not so much any more. I am back on meds and trying to stay “chill”. I know it’s the stress from worrying about mini-me and the constant worry about dough. But now that she is better and hubs is working again I’m sure it’ll be right as rain in no time. I have to say committing to this conference next week was probably not a good idea but I know it will be okay. We’ll just be on a super tight budget while there. You can only do what you can do. When I signed up hubs was supposed to be going back to work immediately. Little did we know it would not pan out or I never would have signed up. But I am fully committed and happy to be going. I am hoping it changes the blog for the better and teaches me to reach for that next level. It’s a sacrifice worth making. I aim to be a good little student and soak in every bit of knowledge I can. And let’s be honest, meeting Jaden from Steamy Kitchen is a dream come true. I may actually pass out. I mean I hope I don’t but be warned folks standing nearby. This chick could hit the ground at a moments notice if Jaden so much as says hello.
So…yup…there you have it. My life in a nutshell.
For the readers I wanted to share this with you as it’s what I do. I am a bit of an open book. Also it helps to explain if I have not been as speedy returning emails or answering queries. My energy was focused elsewhere. While I was able to keep blogging the quality was not great. I’m certain it was noticed. But there are just so many hours in a day and quite honestly when your kid is sick everything else becomes moot. So I am happy I kept blogging but posting was about all the energy I could muster.
For my fellow bloggers I apologize for not visiting like I used to. I am sure many of you were wondering what was wrong with me. Maybe I was getting too big for my britches or had lost interest in your blogs. SO NOT TRUE! I adore you guys and love being part of such an amazing group of people. But at the end of the day I was either off to bed or hanging with el sicko mini-me. I would try to comment on blogs but I found myself just staring at the screen with nothing to say. I still stopped by often but usually just to love ya and leave ya. I could not bring myself to think of a witty, silly comment if my life depended on it most days.
So I hope that clears up the mystery of the missing Lunatic. Also why my photos are more craptastic than usual or my posts seemed disconnected. It was simply me feeling disconnected. I powered through but things suffered. I hope this helps shed some light on why.
I will say I am looking forward to the conference for personal reasons too. This family has been through a lot the last couple of years and I think we need a break. We have not been on vacation in 8 years. B-dude is moving out soon so this is our last hurrah together as a family unit. No spouses or significant others, just us 4 on a mission of fun and silliness. I am sure there will be a ton of immature behaviour and giggling like lunatics while we’re there. It’s how we roll in the Bee household.
So there you go folks. Life stuff. It happens to all of us. So if you are going through some of your own craptastic life stuff don’t feel alone in it. We all have moments where life thumps us upside the head repeatedly. I think it’s meant to teach us things. I won’t claim to know what, but I really do believe life is all about lessons to be learned. Some of us just seem to have harder heads than others. So we have to get thumped more than once. This chick needs to healthy it up a bit after Disney. I’m not gonna lie, I plan to eat copious amounts of sugar while at Disney, probably massive quantities of fat as well, I will limit the salt with exception of the fish n chips I plan on splurging on. See, hard head, slow learner. My only explanation is it will probably be the only time in my life I go to Disney so it’s no holds barred for three days. If I push your butt out of the way at the dessert table I apologize in advance. But you probably took long to decide and had it coming.
Toodles and smoochies! xx