Okay class, do I have your attention? Quiet down there in the back. I’m trying to teach you something fun here. Okay who stole the props? *runs off to grab her ruler*
Now settle down people. You can all have a turn licking the jars I promise. You just have to wait your turn. Don’t make me come back there missy? Put down that ja…..
So if you guys were not already convinced I have too much time on my hands this should cinch it for you. If you were not already convinced I can take healthy food and make it unhealthy well, this wasn’t healthy to begin with so I cannot be held responsible for this one. I can however take something already yummy and flip it on its head. It’s what I do. Head flipping, it’s a talent. They are adding it to the pageant list as we speak. Seriously, I made a call. I have people.
So now that I have made sure you all know the Lunatic name is not in vain, we can continue our lesson. Please behave and pay attention or no jar licking for you!
Today’s lesson- how to take sugar and make it even more irresistible. Oh goody, this is going to be fun. Now pull up a chair and watch the magic happen.
- Sugar (duh)
- Food colouring (double duh)
- Mix them. (triple duh)
What? Huh? Oh, that’s not enough instructions for you? Okay people follow along now. Cop a squat. No fidgeting. I’m gonna tell ya little tale….
Once upon a time there was a beautiful lady named Lunie who was an absolute genius as well as the prettiest, skinniest lady in all the land. She had magic fingers and could turn any food into something bad for you. Yes children, she’s that good! Maybe one day they’ll name a country after her, or a pony, or she’ll get her own show on the food network. She’s that awesome children. One day people will talk about her like…she’s not actually crazy.
Okay that’s it. Who let the realist in here? No realists allowed. This is a fairy tale for goodness sake.
We begin our story here, in a little blog room that time forgot….*fade away, soft pretty music playing as unicorns dance by*
|THIS IS WHAT WE’LL BE MAKING TODAY|
|OUR FIRST COLOUR WILL BE PINK CUZ IT’S MY FAVE, IT’S SORT OF RED BUT I’M IN DENIAL AND CALLING IT PINK. OKAY ANYWAY TAKE SOME SUGAR|
|POUR IT INTO A CUTE PINK BOWL|
|FIND SOME RED PINK FOOD COLOURING|
|ADD A FEW DROPS AND START MIXING|
|DON’T PANIC, IT TAKES AWHILE TO MIX UP NICELY|
|IT WILL END UP LOOKING LIKE THIS, YOU CAN ADJUST THE COLOUR IF IT’S NOT THE SHADE OF PINK YOU WANT|
|NOW GRAB A GLASS AND SOME CORN SYRUP|
|THIS GETS MESSY FOLKS BUT IT’S OKAY CUZ YOU GET TO LICK IT OFF SO WHO CARES RIGHT. POUR SOME CORN SYRUP ON YOUR FINGER AND RUN IT ALONG THE EDGE OF THE GLASS|
|SEE, CORN SYRUPY, DON’T WORRY ABOUT SMUDGING THE GLASS, NO ONE WILL CARE WITH ALL THAT SUGAR IN THEIR SIGHTS|
|NOW MAKE SURE YOU HAVE YOUR SUGAR READY|
|AND PREPARE TO DUNK|
|SEE, FUN RIGHT|
|REMOVE THE GLASS FROM THE BOWL|
|AND VOILA, A FUN WAY TO DECORATE THE EDGE|
|I WOULD LIKE TO THANK MY SUPPORTING CAST FOR THEIR HELP WITH THIS ONE|
|OOPS, FORGOT MY FINGER, IT HAD THE STARRING ROLE AFTER ALL|
|NOW ON TO GREEN, GRAB SOME SUGAR|
|GRAB GREEN FOOD COLOURING AND CORN SYRUP|
|MIX UP YOUR GREEN BATCH|
|TILL IT LOOKS SORTA LIKE THIS|
|RUN CORN SYRUP ALONG THE EDGE OF GLASS AND DUNK|
|PRETTY THINGS HAPPEN WHEN YOU REMOVE THE GLASS|
|NOW FOR EXTRA FUN ADD SOME CANDY TO THE GLASS AND SET OUT AT A PARTY|
|THE SUPPORTING CAST, BIG APPLAUSE FOLKS|
|MOVING ON TO BLUE|
|GRAB SUGAR AND BLUE FOOD COLOURING|
|GET READY TO ROCK N ROLL|
|DON’T FORGET YOUR CORN SYRUP|
|THIS TIME WE’LL USE A FUN LITTLE EGG CUP|
|CUZ THAT’S HOW I ROLL, NOW PUT CORN SYRUP ON THE EDGE FOLKS|
|DUNK AND REMOVE FOR BLUEY AWESOMENESS|
|YOU CAN ADD SOME RASPBERRIES FOR FUN, LET THE KIDS DIP THEM|
|I DON’T ADVISE USING AN EGG, THAT WOULD BE GROSS, NOT THAT I TRIED OR ANYTHING *PFFTT*|
|LOUD APPLAUSE FOR THE SUPPORTING CAST FOLKS|
|AND FOR OUR FINALE, YES WE ARE NEARING AN END HERE FOLKS *GEEZ*|
|GET READY FOR YELLOWY GREATNESS|
|MAKE SURE YOU HAVE YOUR SUGAR AND FOOD COLOURING READY TO ROCK N ROLL|
|AND CORN SYRUP, DON’T FORGET THE CORN SYRUP|
|LINE THE EDGE OF THE GLASS AND DUNK|
|REMOVE FOR YELLOW AWESOMENESS WE SPOKE OF EARLIER|
|COULD THIS BE ANY PRETTIER|
|NOW THIS IS FUN FOR THE KIDDIES, OR JUST YOU WHEN YOU’RE SITTING ON THE COUCH *DISCLAIMER- I DO NOT DO THIS*|
|*OKAY SO I DO* NOW LICK THE MINI MARSHMALLOW AND DUNK, TRUST ME IT’S SO MUCH FUN|
|THE SUPPORTING CAST TAKES A BOW|
|I HOPE YOU PAID ATTENTION!|
|WE’LL BE HAVING A POP QUIZ NOW, YOU READY?|
Okay so I sure hope you enjoyed this one. There are about a thousand possibilities for this stuff. You can put it on the edge of just about anything. They’d be super fun on a cocktail for sure. If you’re wondering why I didn’t post any pics of that let me tell you a little something about your Lunatic. She does not drink. Like ever. Well, not never. I have had a drink before. But as a whole I don’t drink. Last time I did was almost 5 years ago, I had half a glass of wine at my birthday celebration and was looped for the rest of the night. Low tolerance for it. I can’t drink due to health reasons. Plus seriously if this is me sober can you imagine me looped??? Yah, I know right. Scary!
Toodles and smoochies! xx