Turtle Bark- Christmaspalooza

Hi folks. I am back with some bark for you guys. You know me and bark. If there’s a way to play around with it I am all in. Love the stuff to bits. It’s just so good. The variations are endless, the possibilities endless. You can get all kinds of creative with it. It also makes nice gifts for people. Which is why I made 4 different kinds the other day. No, I don’t have any self control problems. Not at all. Not me.

So I was thinking to myself “self, what kind of bark could we make that no one else has made?” And my mind immediately jumped to turtles candy. I had just picked some up at the store to give away as gifts eat it all myself, so it was on my mind. Then I thought I was a genius, I mean this was a million dollar idea. Look out world, here I come. Yah, not so much. Apparently a gazillion other people have already thought of it. I found a recipe on epicurious, Baker’s Royale, Etsy, there’s quite alot of turtle bark out there. So I did what I always do when I find out I did not discover something. I make it any way. I now had the craving and knew I was going to tackle it no matter what. The upside to doing a search was finding another cool bark recipe on Baker’s Royale that I also made and will share another day. That girl can rock the bark. I love anyone who likes bark as much as I do.

I have to share a little story about Turtles with you before we get to the recipe. What? You did NOT just roll your eyes at me did you? I mean that’s just rude. You should know by now all recipes come with stories. Unless your new. Okay if you’re new here’s some tips about your Lunatic:

1- I like lists, such as this one!
2- I make alot of goodies!
3- If you want those goodies you get some talkie talk talk with them!
4- If you don’t want the talkie talk talk, well, scroll or hit up “givemetherecipenowwithoutthelip.com”!
5- I like to make up words. And fake websites and emails!
6- I could go on like this all day!
7- It doesn’t even bother me!
8- I mean I don’t sleep so this could on for hours!
9- I bet you’ll get tired of this before I will!
10- Are you asleep on your keyboard? Now that’s just rude.

Okay now that the new ones are up to speed, let me continue with the talkie talk talk. So last year we all opened up our lovely gifts. We got so much fun stuff. My sis had sent goodies for me and mini-me. My brother and his girlfriend sent goodies for B-Dude and hubs. So as the night wore on I got to wondering how the guys scored Turtles and we didn’t. Our goodies didn’t seem as “special” as Turtles. I mean I love me some Turtles. So now I’m thinking wow, why didn’t I get any. By days end I was really rather bothered by the whole thing and it virtually ruined my Christmas (not really but it adds so much to dramatic effect right).   So my Christmas was spoiled completely by this lack of Turtles. What’s a girl to do? Well this girl got a little crazy. The next day hubs and B-Dude were off somewhere, so me and mini-me were watching a movie. She wanted a snack and we scrounged around but were sick of all the goodies in the house. So I started to eye the guy’s Turtles. I thought oh what the heck we’ll just steal a couple out of the box and they’ll never know right. Well, the horror of it, they hadn’t even opened that precious box of Turtles. Who in their right mind would not open them immediately? Not anyone who deserves Turtles let me tell you that. I was so outraged I decided right then and there I was going to open them and have one and to heckaroo with the boys and their anti-Turtle ways. (more dramatic effect, I just REALLY wanted a turtle) So I mischievously opened the plastic and heard the angels sing as I opened the box. I swore just one for me and one for mini-me. Yah, not so much. We each had two. I slipped the box back under the tree and waited for the guys to notice. Next day rolls around and no mention of the Turtles having been ambushed. So that night the guys were watching hockey or some other lame sport downstairs, so me and mini-me got the munchies as we usually do while watching tv. I jokingly said Turtles would be nice and mini-me got all excited. So what’s a mom to do right? I mean I had to. It’s my duty as a mom. So I swore one only. Yah

I swear hubs is going to start using Ricky Ricardo’s line soon. “Lunie, you got some splainin to do”!

Alrighty roo, on to the bark. I used my usual recipe then just tossed stuff on top. It ain’t rocket science folks. Just bark. Easy peasy. Feeling your pants get squeezy! When that happens lay off the bark a bit. Or get bigger pants.

I like to call this “Bigger Pants Turtle Bark”!

Inspired by Epicurious, Baker’s RoyaleGoodies by Anna and KerryCan on Etsy

Turtle Bark
 
Author:
Recipe type: Dessert, Candy, Chocolate
Ingredients
  • 12 ounces semi sweet chocolate (good quality)
  • ¾ cup pecans, broken into tiny pieces (I did not toast mine, not sure why not)
  • ¾ cup Skor toffee bits (you can buy them in bags by the chocolate chips)
  • ¼ to ½ cup caramel sauce (I did not measure properly, got carried away pouring, my best guess is I used ½ cup which is alot)
  • Recipe for Caramel Sauce:
  • ¼ cup water
  • 2 tablespoon unsalted butter, more softened for the pan
  • 1½ cups sugar
  • ½ cup heavy cream
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • Generous pinch of salt, I used vanilla salt
Instructions
  1. Melt your chocolate in a double boiler. All you do is bring water in a pot to a boil then turn it down to simmer, or slightly above simmer. Then place your other pot on top and pop the chocolate in that. Now I do not have a double boiler so I place a heat proof glass bowl on top of the pot. Works beautifully.
  2. Now let it melt. Stir it here and there.
  3. Once it’s melted pour it into a parchment lined pan (8 x 8 is best, I did it on a cookie sheet which made it too thin)
  4. Now toss the pecans over top.
  5. Now toss the skor bits over top.
  6. Now pop this in the fridge to set while you make your caramel. (recipe to follow)
  7. Once your caramel is cooled (if it’s not it’s melt your chocolate, this is super important), you pour it over your bark.
  8. Pop it back in the fridge for a bit to set up.
  9. Remove and break apart or cut. I like mine roughly chopped or broken. Not a big fan of clean edges on bark.
  10. Directions for the caramel sauce:
  11. Place a medium saucepan over medium-high heat, combining sugar and ¼ cup warm water. Stir until the sugar dissolves. Takes 2 to 3 minutes.
  12. Bring the syrup to a boil and do not stir, let it start to caramelize. You can gently swirl the pan to help it start to brown.
  13. You watch, not stirring until it turns an amber colour.
  14. Now remove from the heat, add cold butter.
  15. Now stir in the heavy cream. You may return the pan to low heat if the mixture is not smoothing out right away.
  16. Now add the vanilla and the salt. Stir this until it’s smooth.
  17. Let the caramel cool for about 15 minutes.

 


Yup, this is let your pants out, hide every one’s share kind of stuff. This is so good I can barely stand it. Now that I can make my own Turtles I shall never need to steal it from hubs and son again. I may still steal it just for fun but I won’t “need” to. Yup, that’s how we roll up here in the Bee household.

My other Christmas baking posts for your viewing pleasure:

Chocolate and Peanut Butter M&M Cookies

Checkerboard Cookies

Kim’s Nutella Cookies

Pretty Pepperminty Ice Cream

Black Forest Bark

This post is part of Christmaspalooza 2011!

Toodles and smoochies! xx

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Comments

  1. 1
    Asian-spice mix says:

    sound really Rich,tasty and yummy,I want two slice Now :)
    Ridwan

  2. 2
    Parsley Sage says:

    Drooooooooooool! Regardless of whether or not its a NEW idea, it's still a GENIUS idea :) I <3 your brain.

  3. 3
    Christiane Potts says:

    There is no such thing as 'a lot' of caramel. It is one of those things that there can never be enough of. I love the stuff. I'm willing to put up with chocolate (which is ALWAYS paired with my beloved caramel) to have my cake and eat it too. This really is an amazing idea. How has the rest of the world not come up with it yet. Time to head to patent city, my friend.

  4. 4

    Now I know what I'm doing this weekend..!! Thank you for sharing.

  5. 5
    Cajunlicious says:

    Looks delicious, I can never get enough caramel, the more the better!

  6. 6

    hehehe..You sure know how to make me laugh..AWESOME POST! and Recipe..well I would totally overeat on those..you should put warning sign "you may talk to yourself after you eat those" :))) Have a lovely day sweetie!!!

  7. 7

    This looks really sweet and chewy!

  8. 8
    thesmartcookiecook.com says:

    Oh god, I'm drooling! I love the turtle trio that is caramel, chocolate, and nuts. Putting it into a bark is brilliant!

  9. 9
    janet@fromcupcakestocaviar says:

    Heh! I know exactly what you mean about the turtles. I got my husband a box for Christmas two years ago because he SAYS he likes them. When we moved here in September, I found the box… unopened. I wanted to cry. All those turtles… wasted. It was sinful!

    Now go make me some turtle bark, wench! With a Coke!

  10. 10

    I'm in love with this. With all the barks out there, I've never seen a Tuurtle Bark because most just make the turtle candies with the pecan feeties, or just clusters. THIS is a must make for me!

  11. 11
    Liz @ Southern Charm says:

    YUM! Love this! What an amazing Christmas recipe!

  12. 12
    celiacasaurus.com says:

    mmmmmm….turtle bark…thanks for the recipe and inspiration. I NEED to make this. I can't get the image of a barking turtle out of my head…nuts, I know. :)

  13. 13

    Ohhh, that sounds like an amazing, self-control destroying treat. Turtle has all my favorite things, too!

  14. 14
    Kelly Mulcair Registered Nutritionist. Content © 2011 Trinity Nutrition. says:

    This turtle bark looks like the ultimate Christmas treat!

  15. 15

    That looks evil…Evil Delicious! Haha…what a perfect Christmas treat!

  16. 16

    Looks AWESOME! I stumbled it!

  17. 17
    blackbookkitchendiaries says:

    oh my gosh! this looks heavenly and very addictive! thank you for sharing this and have a great weekend.

  18. 18

    Look at all of this bark! This looks delicious I love the "turtle" flavor :)

  19. 19

    Kim-I see that you are over supplied with this Turtle bark. To ease your mind, I will gladly take some of this bark. After all, you need space for all those other goodies,so a sacrifice must be made! Your bark may be replacing the regular candy Turtles around here-yum! Enjoy the weekend.

  20. 20

    I have never made bark and not sure that I have eaten it, or maybe, but if this like turtles I am going for it. One of my faves, love that caramel chocolate and pecans. Cheers!

  21. 21
    Anna @ hiddenponies says:

    YUM. Sometimes it's better not to search your ideas and just believe it is yours and only yours :) Because this is a darn good idea!

  22. 22

    @Ridwan- Thanks. It is some dang fine bark.

    @Parsley Sage- Lol, I love that you love my brain. xx

    @Christiane- Lol, I love a gal who loves some serious caramel action.

    @Sarah- Yeah, I hope you report back whether you like it.

    @Cajunlicious- I am like that with chocolate. And pistachios. And cherries. And coconut. And…well, everything but pickles and mushrooms I think. Lol!

    @Sandra- Lol, I shall also put a warning sign on it that says "may make your butt look bigger than you think it is". Deadly these things. But oh so good. Thanks for coming by my dear!xx

    @Curt- Oh dude, you gotta try it!

    @thesmartcookiecook- Lol, I wish I had been the first to think of it. So good.

    @Janet aka evil twin- Oh my, did you punish him severely cuz that calls for a can of whoop a**. And I shall make you some bark but I draw the line at grabbing you sewage!

    @Lisa- I know, I like to walk on the wild side. Never normal. It's how I roll. Lol!

    @Liz- Aw, thanks. And thanks for swinging by. Love your blog!

    @celiacasaurus- I swear there were so many sites dedicated to barking turtles you would be amazed. I just wanted chocolate, google gave me the whole bag of nuts.

    @Kiri- Well if we're going to crave stuff it may as well be the best.

    @Kelly- Thanks. And I am so happy you popped by.

    @Charissa- Evil is my middle name!Lol, thanks.

    @Carolyn- Aw thanks my dear. You are so sweet.

    @blackbook- Thanks for liking it and stopping by. Enjoy your weekend.

    @Ali- Thanks. I love me some bark.

    @Tina- Aw, you are so kind. I would highly suggest making it thicker if you do it. Mine was thin and should not have been. Been awhile since I made it and forget to use the smaller pan. It is so good. You will not believe the taste.

    @Suzi- I am telling you bark is one of the easiest, quickest things you can make. It looks intimidating but it's basically just melting chocolate and smashing stuff to pop in or on top. Super easy.

    @Anna- I shall have to remember that next time. Lol! Thanks.xx

  23. 23

    I am having a hard time typing while I giggle over "easy peasy feeling your pants get squeezy." You are such a riot. And so creative, too. (not counting that others have made turtle bark before, because I haven't seen it, therefore you are getting all of the credit in my book).

  24. 24
    Kels @ K and K Test Kitchen says:

    Be still my heart! I will take one size larger pants for Christmas please, as long as I can eat buckets full of turtle bark… okay better make that 2 sizes.

  25. 25

    Mmmmmm….that's all I can say right now…mmmmmm… absolute heaven!! :-)

  26. 26

    Yum! I love everything about this. And I made a jar of caramel sauce a few days ago that is mostly still waiting to be used!

  27. 27
    Sabrina @ loulousucre says:

    Thanks so much for stopping by. I really like your site. I'm a new follower too.

  28. 28

    @Kristen- Thanks. And cool, I'll take credit. You didn't happen to see the dude land on the moon either right cuz that was me too.

    @Kels- I know right. I think just wearing pajamas for a month is in order. Big old stretchy pj's.

    @Rosann- Lol, yeah my fave word1

  29. 29

    This is amazing! (FUN list) with this bark in the house – you don't need a box of turtles….no more sneaking the boys's candy! Thanks for sharing and you may not have made it up, but I think you might have perfected it!

  30. 30
    Nami | Just One Cookbook says:

    LOL!!! You are the funniest Kim!!! I have seen a lot of bark recipes before but honestly I think this one is the first one that made me really want to try making on my own. Looks so good – pictures are good but I think this recipe is beyond excellent and totally my taste!

  31. 31

    Bark! Bark! Tail wag and tongue sticking out … beg, beg.

  32. 32

    @Ann- Thanks so much my dear. You are so sweet.

    @Nami- Aw, thanks so much Nami. You are too kind. I sure hope you are having fun on your trip.

    @Ping- You crack me up!

  33. 33
    momdecuisine.net says:

    I hate it when I think I've come up with an original recipe idea just to find that it's been done tons of times. But your bark still looks great (as do your lists!)

  34. 34
    Eva kitcheninspirations.wordpress.com says:

    I also love making lists (read: have to). The bark looks delicious but sadly won't make it in our house, waaaaaay too tempting!

  35. 35
    Marina {Yummy Mummy) says:

    This looks so crunch and delicious!

  36. 36

    YUM! This is my kind of bark…just fabulous, Kim!!!

  37. 37
    Anne@frommysweetheart says:

    Oh Kim…how I LOVE bark! And although you've told us that this Turtle bark has been done before….I never thought to put these flavors into a bark. So it's new to me and you are therefore a GENIUS! This would make a great food gift…but I don't know if I'd be able to part with it! It just looks awesome! : )

  38. 38

    @momdecuisine- Thanks so much. At least my list are original right. So that's something. Lol!

    @Eva- Lol, I don't blame you!

    @Marina- Thanks my dear!

    @Lizzy- Thanks so much!

    @Anne- Aw, you are so sweet. Thanks so much. I was able to part with a little but kept some for us too. Super good.

  39. 39

    I certainly don't need another Christmas recipe for sweet treats but this looks amazing. It certainly doesn't matter if it has been done before as long as it is delicious and makes you happy! It makes me happy just to see the pictures.

  40. 40
    Hester @ Alchemy in the Kitchen says:

    Hehehe – the holiday season is all about larger pants so definitely making this turtle bark. Not sure how I'd feel about sharing it tho. It probably wouldn't get past the front door as gifts – wouldn't last long enough!

  41. 41
    Stephanie @ Eat. Drink. Love. says:

    Turtle bark? I love this! I have a hard time with barks as they usually are made with white chocolate so I love this one!

  42. 42

    @Emily- Thank you so much. I loved this one beyond words.

    @Hester- I hate sharing the good stuff. Lol!

    @Stephanie- I am the same. Prefer mine with chocolate, not a huge fan of white. Don't mind the marbled ones though.

  43. 43

    Just bookmarked your recipe of caramel sauce!:-)

Trackbacks

  1. […] Caramel sauce recipe can found on Banana Sticky Buns. […]

  2. […] You know how much I adore all things Turtle. My list of turtle recipes is lengthy. I’ve made Turtle Bark, Turtle Ice Cream, Turtle Banana Splits, Turtle Ice Cream Pie, Turtle Popcorn, Turtle Popcorn Gone […]

  3. […] sugar and vanilla oats. I also did up some cookies in a jar for some people. Then I whipped up some Turtle Bark, Black Forest Bark, Coconut Bark, Hot Fudge Sauce and Slow Cooker Snack Mix for some family […]

  4. […] may have read the post where I talked about stealing Turtles last year from hubs and B. You  may have read about my Turtle Bark. You also may have read about my Turtle ice cream and the […]

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