Hi folks.
Today there is no recipe. No giggling, crazy Lunatic. Today marks the anniversary of my Mom's passing. I thought sharing some words and pictures with you to mark the occasion would be a nice way to share a bit more about my life with you. My Mom passed away a long time ago. I was 15 when she died. She was 47. It was March 5th, 1984. I can remember it like it was yesterday. The day that changed everything.
My Mom was one of those people who was always up for a laugh. She enjoyed having fun and getting silly. The running joke was it wasn't a party till the girls got loaded and took their teeth out. For some reason they thought this was absolutely hilarious to do. I cannot tell you how many pictures of my mother we have where she's absolutely tipsy and toothless. Quite an odd memory but one I was reminded of today by photos that popped up of her on facebook.
We entertained ourselves differently back in the day. We would all sit around the table and my mom and aunts would pull out a tape recorder and we would make up songs and commercials and do skits on it. Hours and hours of amusement. We would do just about anything to make each other laugh. I have such fond memories of those days.
I think my Mom was hell-bent on making the most of the time she had. She tried hard to make us kids laugh and have fun in life. Our lives were a bit difficult, not the easiest of childhoods. Without getting too in-depth I'll just say my Dad was a hard man, difficult to live with. My Mom seemed to go out of her way to make up for that, to lighten our load even though her own was heavy. Looking back on it now I am not sure where she found the strength to always put on a happy face to greet the day. She was our protector and our friend, not quite your typical mother. She hung out with our friends and made them laugh. She wanted to know what went on in our lives. And she shielded us from an overbearing (don't get me wrong, I loved my Dad) father whose standards were impossible to reach. He would ground us and she would let us go out the second he was gone. He would tell us not to hang out with certain kids, and she would have those kids over for lunch. She didn't do it to be defiant, he never knew, she did it to give us a more normal childhood. Otherwise we'd have never had one. I am grateful to her for making sure we were allowed to be kids.
I also think back and wonder how she tolerated us. She did everything. Honestly when she passed none of us knew how to cook or clean. I don't even remember making my own bed. She was the housewife you read about back in the day. Did it all, put up with it all and was quite likely miserable doing it. I am not sure we ever told her how much we appreciated her, or loved her. We weren't a demonstrative type of family. Hugs were not something we did. Feelings were not something we did. Looking back if there was one thing I could change I think that would be it. But you can't go back, only forwards.
I miss her, and no amount of time makes it hurt less. I think as time passes our coping skills just improve. I wish she had known my kids. She would have been an amazing grandmother to them and my brother's kids. They will never have the memories I have of her. That makes my heart hurt.
I remember her riding on the rotor at Bob-Lo Island and sliding down yelling for them to stop the ride.
I remember her on vacation in the Rockies running like Rocky Balboa and singing the theme song in her sling back sandals she insisted on hiking in, falling a** over tea kettle down the slope while we all watched in horror then died laughing when we knew she was okay.
I remember her sitting on top of me and pinning my arms down while trying to look at my skin and us laughing like complete lunatics at how absurd we were.
I remember her sitting on the patio and hanging out like the cool mom with my boyfriend, who she admitted she hated when she pulled me into the garage to tell me to date the other dude who was with him, "you know that C'Paul fellow". I am now married to that dude.
I remember sneaking out of the camper to feed the deer bread we were suppose to be eating for breakfast, she was so happy that day.
I remember being at a gas station with a canteen and we were grabbing drinks when the lady slammed the partition down, we turned around to see a bear behind us. I remember trying to reach out to pet the "cute little bear", while my Mom tried to get me behind her till my Dad brought the car to save us.
I remember going to the drive in with her when the guys went camping and we stayed out late and ate all kinds of stuff my Dad didn't let us eat. We ordered pizza that weekend and ate popcorn and let the house look a fright. Was an amazing weekend.
I remember feeding a chipmunk on a family vacation and talking about it for weeks after.
I remember her taking me to horseback riding lessons and smiling the whole time we were there. I was made to quit after a short time. I grew up and bought my own horse. She would have loved that.
Mom, my Dad took these photos
Mom and Dad's wedding
Mom at the house they had built, we now own the house
Mom playing pool
Scott, Me, Mom and Ken
Me and Mom, on my birthday getting my very first Kitty who I aptly named Kitty!
My fave photo of Me and my Mom
Mom and Scott, Flowerpot Island in the background
Ken, Mom and Me
Scott, Mom, Me and Ken
Ken, Me, Deb, Mom and Scott
Who we become is shaped so much by our moms. It is also shaped so much by the events in our childhood. I wouldn't really change a thing about how we grew up otherwise I wouldn't be me. But I'd give up anything in the world to have a couple more hours to talk to my Mom now that I'm an adult. There are so many things I'd like to ask her. To tell her. But we can't go back, only forward.
This is something I have etched into a stone in our yard, in her garden. I picked it up at a gift store. I also have a similar one in my Dad's garden. We bought my folks home and have a garden dedicated to each of them. This is on the stone in my Mom's:
We thought of you today,
But that is nothing new.
We thought of you yesterday
And will tomorrow, too.
We think of you in silence
And make no outward show.
For what it meant to lose you
Only those who love you know.
Remembering you is easy,
We do it everyday.
It's the heartache of losing you
That will never go away.
Toodles and smoochies! xx
Kiri W.
I am sorry for your loss, because loss never gets easier, but I also want to commend you on your loving heart. You are a wonderful person, and it seems like you go a lot of that from your mom.
*hugs*
Kim Bee
Thanks so much Kiri. I appreciate your kindness. Yesterday was a rough day. xx
Kiri W.
Hang in there *hugs*
the food dude
Thank you for sharing this post, it made me stop and think for a while, and appreciate the good things. Here's to amazing moms!
Kim Bee
I figure it's the least I can do to remember her and honour her. Glad it made it an impact. xx
Dee at Deelicious Sweets
What sweet memories you have of your mom! This was a tear jerker but I made my way through it. Thanks for sharing your memories with us <3
Kim Bee
Thanks Dee. Glad you made it through. This is one of the first posts I had to stop and break while writing. A bit overwhelming. xx
Marina@cowboycountryvegetarian
Kim, thanks for sharing such a beautiful memories about your mom. Sending you a big warm hug...
Kim Bee
Thanks so much Marina. I appreciate it. xx
Charlie
Kim: I am so sorry that you have lost your Mama.
I lost my Daddy a few years ago, and I just can't imagine losing my Mama.
I am praying for you and yours today.
Charlie
Kim Bee
Thanks so much Charlie. I lost my Dad as well 5 years ago, took care of him while he had cancer. Hard losing your folks. No matter how old we get they are still our Mommies and Daddies. Just the way it is. Sorry about your Dad. Big hug. xx
Ramona
Kim... this post was incredible. I could see the love and adoration you have for you mother with every single word!! She was not in your life as long as she or you could ever wish, but her time here was profound and meaningful. She sounds like such an amazing mother and that's why you are such an amazing mother and person. You keep her legacy going on by always remembering her. I know she is looking down from heaven and thrilled to see the woman you have grown up to be and the mother you are to your children! Sending a big hug to you on this day of remembrance!! ~ Ramona
Kim Bee
Thanks so much Ramona. You are so sweet. Your words meant a lot to me. It was hard to write about but it's such a huge part of my life I felt I should share it. Big hug right back at ya. xx
Soni
I'm so sorry for your loss Kim.Your mom sounds like a really fun and a nice person.Thanks for sharing such beautiful memories with your mom.Hugs..
Kim Bee
Thanks so much Soni. She was a hoot and a half. Glad I shared this with you all. Hugs back at ya. xx
Kristy
So touching. What a lovely way to remember your mom. Hugs!
Kim Bee
Thanks so much Kristy. I tend to get very reflective this time of year. Had to share it. Hugs back at ya. xx
Lacy @ NYCityEats
What a great post. I can't imagine what you've been going through. You stay positive throughout it and that's pretty amazing. You have great memories of your mom and I think that's the best part, I love the she knew you're now hubby would be good for you. Hope all the foodie love will cheer you up today!
Kim Bee
Thanks so much Lacy. It is so funny that it took me years to remember the conversation about which boy I should be dating. Odd how things work out. She was right. She was always right. Lol. xx
Anita at Hungry Couple
Thank you for sharing your story and your lovely pictures with us. I lost my father (an easy going, fun-loving man) when I was not much older than you were then and I understand.
Kim Bee
Thanks for reading Anita. Losing a parent is rough. I tend to get a bit down around the date they died each year. Can't seem to help myself. So sorry about your Dad. xx
Part Time House Wife
Such a beautiful touching post. I loved it. thank you for sharing.
Kim Bee
Thanks so much for taking the time to read it. xx
Dara
Kim, my heart aches for you today. This is such a beautiful and touching tribute to your mom.
Kim Bee
Aw, thanks Dara. It means a lot that you care. xx
mellissa @ ibreatheimhungry
A beautiful tribute to your mom, Kim - thanks so much for sharing with us. She sounds like a wonderful person who loved you very much. Your post made me want to call my own mom and realize how lucky I am to still have her with me. Thanks for that. XO
Kim Bee
Thanks so much Mellissa. She was amazing. I hope a lot of people called their Moms after reading this. You are very lucky to have her. They may drive us nuts sometimes but no one loves you like your mom does. xx
Amy
*big hugs Kim* I hope you are hanging in there. I know how much you cherished your time with her, and I'm sure she is looking down on you and smiling.
I love the photos 🙂
Kim Bee
Thanks so much Miss Amy. I was lucky to have such a quirky funny mother. I have tons of great memories of her. Some of the shots just cut me to the core. I have more to post on her birthday later this month. Miss her something awful. xx
erika
Kim, thanks so much for posting this! I really enjoyed reading it. Your mom sounds like such an amazing woman! And I'm sure she's so proud of who you are.
Kim Bee
Aw thanks Erika. You are so sweet and I appreciate that so much. I was so lucky to have such a great mom. xx
Carrie
Nice tribute to your mom. They stay with us always.
Kim Bee
Thanks Carrie. So true. I carry her with me every day. xx
Nami | Just One Cookbook
Kim, I'm sending my big hugs. You were so young when you lost your mom, yet you have wonderful memories with her. Your favorite pic and your first kitty pic made me emotional. After becoming a mom, I can appreciate tiny little things in life and I treasure every moment with my kids. Life is short and you just never know. You have full of great memories with her which you still remember clearly. Your mom is watching you and must be very proud. Now you are making us laugh all the time and cheer us up. 🙂
Kim Bee
Thanks Nami. I am lucky to have had her. She was a remarkable lady. I am so glad my brother shared these pics with me so I could share them with everyone. Thanks so much for your kind, sweet words. It means so much to me. xx
Desi
Love this. Your mom would be so proud. You make me cherish my Mama more and want to go hug her right now! Love that poem at the end too 🙂
Kim Bee
Thanks Desi. Moms are amazing people, no one ever loves you like a mother. Glad you took the time to read this and leave a comment. It means so much to me. xx
Carolyn
Oh, Kim. This was beautiful. I want to reach out and hug that 15 year old girl who lost her mother. I want to reach out and hug you now!
Kim Bee
Thanks Carolyn. I'll take those hugs for sure. I am trying to prep myself to look at more photos my brother sent. I still feel too shaky today. Most days I am at peace with things, but once or twice a year I'm like a puddle. Thanks so much for reading and being so sweet. It means the world to me. xx
Choc Chip Uru
This post was a wonderful tribute to a very special person. It made me stop and think, to go and appreciate my own mother which is something one should do all the time. I do understand that your loss must never feel better but your memories and you being the wonderful person your mother brought up keep her alive. Beautiful post my friend.
Choc Chip Uru
Kim Bee
Thanks so much. I say give your mom a huge hug and tell her you love her.